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JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS
Starring in
That Day At The Beach
(A ticklish celebrity fiction request)
It was a sweltering August afternoon and the cast
and crew of the hit television sitcom Seinfeld were on a New York City beach filming an episode in which the lead character, Jerry Seinfeld (befittingly played by Jerry Seinfeld), gets his big break guest-hosting
The Tonight Show. The analytical comedian expected to meet up with his lovely female friend, Elaine (played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus), to share the great news.
The shooting day was very long and fatiguing. Jerry
Seinfeld and Julia Louis-Dreyfus were both sitting under one of those giant beach umbrellas waiting for the director to finally "call it a wrap". Julia was relaxing in a beach chair wearing her sunglasses
and a very sexy one-piece bathing suit. Jerry was sitting down next to Julia on her beach blanket.
At last, the director spoke into the megaphone yelling, "action".
"Wow, Jerry. You're going to
be guest-hosting The Tonight Show. I'm so happy for you. This is the best thing that could ever happen to your career. Aren't you excited?" Elaine asked.
"What's the deal with the guest-host on The
Tonight Show? Are they the GUEST or are they the HOST? Why can't these people make up their mind?" Jerry Seinfeld joked, making Elaine giggle at the anecdote. "And why do they call it The Tonight Show -
when it's on five nights a week? They should call it The Five Nights A Week Show. Who are these people who insist on calling it The Tonight Show. Would someone please tell me because I'd like to know."
"Cut! That's a wrap!" The director yelled.
The cast and crew were so elated that work was finally completed for the day and they could all get out of that hot sun. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, though, was so
tired that she just decide to lean back in her beach chair and fall sound asleep. That was when Jerry Seinfeld and the rest of the cast and crew thought they'd have a little fun with their pretty co-star.
About
an hour later, the beautiful Julia Louis-Dreyfus had awakened from her well-needed sleep. She tried to stretch and get up, but immediately learned that she could not, for she had been buried up to her neck in sand.
Julia could see that she was still under her beach umbrella and her beach chair was sitting right next to her.
"OKAY, WHO'S THE WISE GUY?" Julia shouted, but received nothing but silence in return.
The comic actress also noticed that she could feel her bare feet sticking up out of the sand at the other end, but she could not see them because of the giant mound of sand that was packed between her neck and her
feet. That was when Julia Louis-Dreyfus noticed a little sign posted on a stake, which was planted on top of the huge mound. It was written on sketchpad paper, making it transparent in the light.
Even though the
letters from Julia's point of view were printed backwards, she just simply put the puzzle together to figure out what the message was. And when she did, Julia Louis-Dreyfus panicked. Her eyes got so wide with alarm,
her mouth dropped as wide as a cave, and her pretty toes curled locked in the cutest little way. The sign on the post simply read:
PLEASE TICKLE THE FEET OF JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS
And before the sitcom
sweetheart could even sputter one syllable in protest, she felt a lone finger gently gliding up the sole of her left foot starting at her heel and working up.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Julia shrieked,
scrunching up her EXTREMELY TICKLISH feet and wiggling them like crazy. "OH! OH! WHO'S DOING THAT? STOP THAT!"
Poor Julia. Her co-stars had her just where they wanted her. And the way her beach
umbrella was positioned, she couldn't even see anyone approaching her to take advantage of her ticklish situation. She tried to pull herself out of the sand but it was packed so densely, any attempt to escape was
deemed futile. And now the next thing the unbearably ticklish Julia Louis Dreyfus felt were two feathers rapidly swiping up and down her soft, pink soles, with one on each foot.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
Julia screamed, as the sudden tickling surprised her. "HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The attractive TV star heard teasing and laughter coming from the other side of the huge mound. She'd
thought she might recognize some of the voices as her co-stars.
"JERRY, IS THAT YOU? MICHAEL? JASON, STOP TICKLING MY FEET! I'LL GET YOU GUYS FOR THIS!"
Again, the hot brunette was answered with
nothing more than the sound of the tide washing onto the shore and seagulls chirping in the air.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! OOH! OOH! SOMEBODY HELP ME! PLEASE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
OOHOOHOOHOO!" Julia screamed, in ticklish anticipation. "NO! NO! DON'T TICKLE MY FEET! PLEASE, PEOPLE! I HAVE EXTRAORDINARY TICKLISH FEET! DON'T TICKLE THEM! LET ME OUTTA HERE!"
Julia
Louis-Dreyfus' whimpering for mercy continued to be ignored and for the next ten minutes, anonymous ticklers took turns psychologically tickle torturing poor Julia as well as actually tickle torturing her with
fingernails, feathers, a backscratcher, and an electric toothbrush. Whether it was her heels her high arches, the balls of her feet, or her especially sensitive toes, no part of her deathly ticklish feet was left
untouched.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! W-W-WHO'S DOING THAT TO ME OVER THERE? MICHAEL, IS THAT YOU? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! JERRY, STOP IT! HEY, WHO'S TICKLING MY FEET! OOH! OOH! JASON,
PLEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEASE!" Julia Louis-Dreyfus howled, jerking her beautiful bare feet violently, with her toenails painted a luscious shade of pink.
Finally, the tickle-torture had ceased. And the
winded Julia Louis-Dreyfus looked up to see her fellow castmembers Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, and Jason Alexander peeking over the mound of sand, grinning at the ticklish girl.
"We gotcha," Michael Richards jeered.
"My goodness, I had no idea you were so ticklish," Jerry Seinfeld remarked.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS DID THAT TO ME! I HAVE THE WORLD'S MOST
TICKLISH FEET! YOU SCARED ME!" Julia complained.
"Aw come on, sweetheart, we're just having a little fun with ya," assured Jason Alexander.
Then the three comedians pulled their ladyfriend out
of her sand tomb. When she got up, the remaining cast and crew who were still on the set laughed and applauded at the conclusion of the practical joke.
"You owe me dinner, Jerry," Julia whined, in a baby voice.
"Sure, honey. Wherever you wanna go," promised Seinfeld.
And with Jerry walking with his arm around the darling actress, Julia
Louis-Dreyfus together with her three co-stars left the beach, with a gorgeous sunset right before them.
THE END
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